The Worst Bad Horror Films.

Discussion in 'General' started by Anthropophagus, Apr 20, 2012.

  1. Anthropophagus

    Anthropophagus Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to have to add Raising Jeffrey Dahmer to the list. I rented this tonight, the box cover lead me to believe it was a straight A&E style documentary on a family's attempt to cope with the revelation that their son is a twisted killer.
    I should have been tipped off when I found it in the horror section though. There was nothing informative or horror about this, it was more like an ultra dull dramatization of how Dahmer's family coped with the events after his arrest. I only made it to the forty minute mark, it had that cheesy nineties tv movie of the week quality with blurry, black and white flashbacks etc. Also, a loud and obnoxious jazz score that sounded like a cross between a Malpaso Clint Eastwood film and a seventies porn.
    Really awful, I'm surprised the surviving relatives did not sue.
     
  2. startide

    startide Member

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    Home Sweet Home. Ugh.

    Curse of the Screaming Dead. Merely confirmed why I hate cannibal films. If the budget of this one was more than a few grand, I'd wonder where the hell the money went!

    Blair Witch Project. Was sent this one as a freebie when I bought Halloween H20. Clearly that's how much the owner liked it, and I agree. Did I hear this film is on blu ray? Seriously? How could you possibly even improve on a dubbed video of this film? I guess every cast member could record a commentary, as well as the director and producers, the editor, the people who appear in the vox pop doco scenes.... It took me a decade or so to finally see this movie. I should have waited another decade. To be fair, it was slightly intriguing, but it's still 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back!!!

    Any film I've spent $2 on at Crazy Clark's. Some of them have been fairly decent (for SOV shit, that is), but the rest... most of them I haven't been able to sit through 'til the end. Stuff like Zombie Nation, Mr Jingles, Scarecrow Slayer, etc.

    In all honesty though, this is hardly a fair fight and not an exhaustive list. The examples I've listed are just a drop in the ocean of the crap I've seen under the guise of a "horror fan". It's a case of kissing a lot of frogs.

    Oh yeah. Cut. That was awful. Seeing it on TV in the improper aspect ratio didn't help, but that wasn't its primary failing!
     
  3. Spit

    Spit Active Member

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    Totally agree, I could barely sit though either of these pure torture. When I first saw this thread The Return of the Boogeyman jumped directly to mind. It's edited so poorly it barely makes sense.
     
  4. DVD-fanatic-9

    DVD-fanatic-9 And the Next Morning, When the Campers Woke Up...

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    Saw is the worst "horror" movie I've ever seen. But Trick 'R Treat pissed me off more. You see the dilemma.

    And, yes, I saw Return of the Boogeyman. Doesn't qualify as a horror movie, so, Saw still has the edge for worst horror film I've ever seen.


    Oh, man; NO! I'm a big Troma fan, to the point where I've even enjoyed Eve's Beach Fantasy, and Chopper Chicks is in my Bottom 5 Troma films. I mean, everyone knew the acting and writing wouldn't be any good. But they weren't through stirring poo into this thing. This film has probably the worst makeup effects AND music I've ever come across in a horror film. I'm not kidding: I held my hands over my ears at several points. I squirmed, gagged, and nearly pressed Fast Forward.
     
  5. Anthropophagus

    Anthropophagus Well-Known Member

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    Still the sight of the Biker/Cougar grinding and singing 'Do what yer big mama told ya' is forever etched in my mind.
     
  6. dave13

    dave13 Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't a fan of trick 'r treat either. after all the hoopla surrounding it, and its eventual release, and all the gushing and praise, it was a pretty big let down. worst horror film ever? not to me. but i'm glad i'm not the only one who thought it was pretty forgettable.
     
  7. crikan

    crikan Well-Known Member

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    SCREAM (1981) is the most boring horror film I've ever seen. DON'T GO IN THE WOODS is the most incompetent.
     
  8. Drinkinstein

    Drinkinstein Member

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    I still maintain that Howling: New Moon Rising is the most godawful POS I ever forced myself to sit through. Damn the completist in me!
     
  9. russweiss

    russweiss Well-Known Member

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    Thought this was funny. I actually saw both of these films theatrically. I haven't seen them since but I do own both on DVD.
     
  10. Body Boy

    Body Boy Well-Known Member

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    I disagree about The Forest. It's silly, but there are many unique moments and charm to it that I can forgive and enjoy.

    Goodnight, God Bless on the other hand... agree completely. What an irredeemable piece of shit!
     
  11. othervoice1

    othervoice1 Well-Known Member

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    The Howling New Moon Rising - makes all the other sequals look like Ben-Hur
     
  12. DVD-fanatic-9

    DVD-fanatic-9 And the Next Morning, When the Campers Woke Up...

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    Unfortunately, I will NEVER forget it- or the hemorrhage I nearly had processing how I nearly EXPLODED with blind, fiery, blood-soaked rage. I think I could write a book about what's wrong with that movie. I think the guy who wrote it and most of the people who produced it are screwed up in the head. The film is legitimately hateful, completely brainless, and did the absolute opposite of what they were aiming for. I'll spare everyone my NOVEL's worth of complaints and boil it down to the only nobel ambition they had. They wanted to make a movie about Halloween that would rewind the tone and make a darker portrayal of All Hallows Eve. But there are huge problems with doing that movie in the new millennium. To the mainstream, Halloween isn't relevant anymore. It means nothing beyond being an advertising gimmick. So, this film isn't insulting the mainstream for having turned Halloween into a laughing stock- it's insulting the only people who still consider it something of value. Namely... the sort of people who would actually go and see a movie trying to be Creepshow, Sleepy Hollow, Lady in White (etc) combined.

    The movie doesn't even tackle any cultural issues of today- in fact, it seeks to create more problems than we already have. Take any one of its' numerous story threads. The gang of girls dressed like princesses who are written with all the depth of reality show contestants on Oxygen's Bad Girls Club. Are they in the story to point the finger at this kind of thing, rip it apart, and say to the culture: you are setting women back entire MILLENNIA? Not if that same scene features little boys peeping at them in the dressing rooms. I was expecting what happens to the girls or what they do over the course of the night to be the area of social commentary / source of horror in their storyline. Nope. Right from the intro, it's just torture to sit through. They're exactly what all smart women hate: unthinking, unrealistic portrayals of women which we can tell from shot 1 are being offered up as another character's drool fodder. And this goes for every single character who is a woman in the entire film, except for the kids who are still stereotyped so extremely that this movie might have been titled Halloween Movie in tribute to the films it clearly owes its' existence to: Epic Movie, Date Movie, etc.

    I have so many other examples, but I hope you can see the point I'm trying to make. No other film about this kind of thing is so out of touch with reality whilst at the same time having its' head so far up its' own ass. That's what makes it one of the worst horror films I've ever seen. And it continues to infuriate me in ways I never imagined. Like, I now have to almost apologize to so many movies I ripped into because it's only the advertising that claims the filmmakers are trying to give the audience the same experience the characters are going through. Compared to Trick 'R Treat, the flood of Haute Tensions and Wrong Turns and even remakes such as My Bloody Valentine are downright innocent and can get away with being naive. TRT should have known better. And the fact that it doesn't leads me to believe the people who wrote it have serious issues. The way the women are written, especially.
     

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