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Old 05-13-2007, 03:11 AM   #123
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Troll (1986)

What I like about Troll’s opening is that it wastes no time. Four minutes into the film, Wendy is about to finish her musical number (“Pease-Porridge”) when she comes across Green Lantern 666, who lives in her basement and who quickly dispatches her and uses his ring to become her. Turns out the GL Corps have stationed Torok (not the dinosaur hunter) on a base inside an apartment building where he wages an eternal battle with one of its creepy tenants. This apartment complex houses only the creepiest tenants this side of a Polanski adaptation, and they are all way too nonchalant about having children in their apartments. Remember the 1980s when an adult could invite a strange child in his apartment and discuss “What death looks like” while guarding her with loaded guns on the wall?

Troll features such appropriate adult-child dialogue as:

Adult: “Do you believe in elves?”

Child: “Yes.”

Adult: “Well then, maybe I’m an elf! Where do you live?”

Torok’s Power Ring has the weird power of creating apartment veg-inas that give birth to ghoulies and open portals to an even more magical world. This is bad because sometimes the tenants turn into foliage or elves. Or Torok turns into them. It’s kind of a broad power.

This is the only fantasy film with two characters named Harry Potter, and one of them does an unpleasant, fey, faux-rock-out dance where he bops in his living room while mouthing the lyrics to a song with about 25% accuracy.

Luckily, Atreyu steps in and gets knocked down a couple times, enabling Torok to throw the magic spear while in the Land of Evil Faerie and something, something, something.

It’s too bad Troll was made in 1986 and Ghoulies II in 1987—and not the other way around. Otherwise, Troll could be watched as a quasi-sequel to Ghoulies II. Both films feature Phil Fondacaro as a man of literature who can recite Shakespeare and “The Faerie Queen” on cue. In Troll, he is an English professor who ran away with the circus before settling down, and in Ghoulies II, we see Fondacaro’s character working in a traveling amusement park (which is kinda like the circus). Fondacaro does battle in both films with ghoulies that look like they crawled and dry-humped out of the same dimension (John Carl Buechler is listed under “creature effects” in Ghoulies II and “special effects” in Troll which would explain the creatures’ similarities, and Buechler wrote and directed Troll and would later go on to direct Rhett’s favorite Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College).

Speaking of creature feature sequels, on to Troll II.
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Originally Posted by thing View Post
Well as the video explains, I do not think it is a great film, nor do I think.

Last edited by Workshed; 05-13-2007 at 06:21 AM.
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